Their Poetry Says It All

The past few weeks visiting the girls has proven to be tough. As I get to know them more and more, the more they share their stories the tougher it becomes to sit and listen. My heart breaks more and more and I find myself struggling to put what I feel in words. The stories from the past few weeks have become too personal to share, but below is a poem written by one of our weekly girls, I think this can provide some insight to what has been going on…

“I Can”
You can love me
but only I can make me happy
You can teach me
but only I can do the learning
You can lead me
but only I can walk the path
You can promote me
but I have to succeed
You can coach me
but i have to win the game
You can even pity me
but I have to bear the sorrow
For the Gift of Love
is not a food that feeds me
It is the sunshine
that nourishes that which I must finally harvest for myself
So if you love me
don’t just sing me your song
Teach me to sing
for when I am alone
I will need the melody.

In Honor of Thanksgiving

Sadly, we could not make it to the girls due to weather conditions for this wonderful thanksgiving week.  However I did spend some time today praying and reminiscing about this past year.  In honor of thanksgiving why not take the time to be thankful?

I cannot believe that only a year ago we took over 60 UD students to a big event at Wordsworth to give the girls an opportunity to share their poetry.  I felt truly blessed as friends all gathered together for the soul purpose of giving the girls a chance for their voices to be heard.  After the event Ms. Em and the girls discussed what they were thankful for.  The girls shared how they were so grateful that the visitors gave them a change; t hey were willing to look past their placement situation and listen to their stories, to hear what they had to say.  They were thankful for poetry and Ms. Em having friends that they love and who will love them.  The girls were thankful for their voices! 

Seeing the blessings God has provided our ministry this year has been life changing.  I am so thankful for people who are willing to hear about the girls!  For the generosity in our fundraising, the book will officially be published by February!   

Last week we sat down around the table and ate the chips and dip requested by the girls. I love thanksgiving time because the girls look for the positive in their situations.  Within our own poetry family we shared stories about their families and even our own.  The girls talked endlessly about their excitement of going home for the holidays and spending time with their families.  We left the home, smiles all on the girls’ faces anticipating the holidays.

The girls have taught me to be so much more grateful.  Stuck behind locked doors the girls don’t have the chance to see their families very often.  They don’t get to call their Mommy and talk about their day.  Or watch ridiculous food network TV shows with their Daddy.  Or talk about boys, play games and spend time with their sisters and fiancé-in-law.  The girls don’t get to do the things I take for granted all the time.  The girls don’t often have the chance to be a family with their family.  The spirit the girls had to simply go home to see their family they transferred to me.  This Thanksgiving was more thankful than ever to drive home to New York City to see my family.

So in the spirit of Thanksgiving I hope we can all find time this Holiday weekend to pray and thank God for all the ways he has blessed us whether it be a loving family, the rain, clothes on our backs, a college education or even the joy of chips and dip!

College Night College Night!!

            This week at the girls home we had college night!!  We had two college students Kyle and Jordan visit and a young adult living on campus who just moved to the US from Australia, Nathan.  I was sitting down to write my blog post for the week when Nathan ironically sent me his own, he had posted about the girls!  So I know I talk about how the girls inspire me weekly, but I thought you all might be interested in hearing how it impacted Nathan.  So without further or due, here are Nathan’s words…

 

So usually I have small group on Tuesday night – yet tonight some of our small group went to a program called Wordsworth – “Voice of the Beautiful Flower” – I only knew I was going to be with a group of girls that are in a facility for kids who  struggle emotional, behavioral, health and in the welfare services, little did I know this group of girls would inspire and encourage my life.

So I shared this awesome journey with Kyle, Jordan & Katrina. We left Delaware and began our journey to Philadelphia. We asked questions about what we would be doing tonight with the girls and Katrina explained – tonight they are talking to the girls about college and what to look forward to and what the college life is like. So instantly I started freaking out inside thinking – oh I shouldn’t have come, I don’t even go to the college these girls are going to ask me questions and I would have no idea how to respond.
    (I should say that this program that we were going to has been running for 5years by Ms Em who has just devoted her time and has been a rock to these girls.)

 

So we arrived at the center, signed in and got to the room that had been saved for us and we were prepped on what usually happens and what the night will run like. Ms Em told us briefly about the program and how she gets the girls to write poetry as a positive influence on their life and to share their stories hence the “Voice of the beautiful flower” title . Next thing you know, in enter about 12 girls from the ages of 15-18, they hugged Ms Em and Becca and then said hello to us and shook our hands of even gave us hugs. Becca then introduced us to the girls and once they heard the “Aussie accent” that was them gone laughing and asking to record it haha made me laugh.
     Becca then showed the girls a quick slideshow and explained to the girls about what University of Delaware provides in programs and courses/degrees for the girls and what other colleges have and provide. The girls where excited and keen and asking questions about the campus life – it was awesome to see this light shine in their eyes.

Ms Em then asked us to introduce our-self and what we are studying and abit about our journey. With each introduction from Katrina, Kyle and Jordan the girls had questions in regards to their degree and life. My time came and this is pretty much how it rolled.
Hi im Nathan, 23 yrs old from Australia. I moved to the states to follow my passion and heart for performing! Baam the questions started coming in about Australia and my accent, then Ms Em and a few girls asked me to sing… I was taken back – so wasn’t expecting to sing – had just finished a mouth full of popcorn. I then asked – do you know Stevie Wonder – they were like YES! So I sang ‘Isn’t she lovely’. It was taken well and more songs where then requested… yet it was time to meet the girls that sat in front of us and to hear their story and what they want to study.

We went around the room and one after the other these girls spoke of becoming a nurse, a lawyer, plastic surgeon, model, vet, performer and what colleges they want to attend and what their dreams are. It was inspiring to hear what these girls wanted, after having a tough life and dealing with more stuff then I think I could handle these girls wanted to get a good education and help others out in the world. To see the room full of girls faces light up when each of them spoke about their future was amazing. 
    Ms Em then asked if any of the girls had brought in their poetry and wanted to read it. We heard words of hope, passion, hurt, truth and light – truly inspiring. Then Ms Em and one of the girls asked for one more song from me – so this time I asked the girl who wanted to be a performer to sing with me… she was super shy and wasn’t up for it… I asked did she know Beyonce ‘Halo’ she said yes.. So I began the verse and by the end of the first verse she had joined in and I stopped and listened to this girl sing and fill the room with her beautiful voice. (In case you don’t know music is a big part of my life, music gives hope, music heals, music calms) To see her face light up when she sang and to hear a room full of girls cheer and clap after she finished was priceless I will always remember that moment.

Some of the girls then went back to their floors and some stayed…we bonded with them they asked us questions about college and our life’s and my budding performer came up to me again and we sang some more songs at the end of the night. Just as she inspired me I gave her some words of hope and encouragement. We left their soon after this, the girls hugged us, high 5’s where exchanged and our life’s were changed from that moment on. I do want to return again as these girls are truly inspiring.

For those that read this – May I ask that you pray for Ms Em and the work that she continues to work over these girls life’s. She cant technically speak of God to these girls – yet some of them do ask about our background and beliefs which then creates an open door for that conversations. I ask you to also prayer for Becca and Katrina and the other people that enter these girls life’s and just show love to these girls who don’t always receive love. I also ask you to prayer for the girls, that their passion and dreams may come true, that there hearts will be soften and led to forgiving others who have hated upon their life. That these girls will become stronger and prepared to face the world when they do leave and continue on with life. 

I only spent about 2hrs with them tonight and they have inspired me.

Here is a link to Becca’s Blog – which is her experience and time spent with these girls week after week!
https://voicesofbeautifulflowers.wordpress.com/page/2/

The book of poetry written by the girls in the Wordsworth is soon to be published – “Voice of the Beautiful flower”

 

This is his blog!

http://sandercn.blogspot.com/2013_11_01_archive.html

 

And his personal website! : www.nathansandercock.com

 

 

This week was an educational yet moving experience at the girls home!

A Simple Commandment

            My life as a student has found its way to smother the time I usually spend blogging each week.  But don’t worry, we are still visiting the girls and have been reading more poetry than ever.  This past week we had 15 girls for poetry, that is around double normal amount!  Many of the girls came prepared with their writing on paper and others with a million and a half thoughts on their mind.  Needless to say, we had a lot to discuss.  We talked about boys, relationships, parents, our weeks, you know the usual things that most girls talk about. But this week two conversations stuck out with me the most.

            One of the girls read a poem she had written for a boy.  She said something along the lines of, can I control the feelings I have for you or are they completely out of my control?  After she said it her words resonated within me.  I told her, “you know, you are right.  I think about that frequently.  I often find my thoughts centered around boys and things that are no good for me yet I cannot find a way to make them disappear.”  The girls all agreed.  We shared stories and talked for a while about how we accept what we think we deserve.  I looked around and all the girls were so caught up in their own thoughts, even I was.  I can tell we were all thinking about specific situations in our own lives that were suddenly tested.  It was obvious the perspectives of our self worth were each challenged.

            The next topic that truly stuck out to me was humanity.  The girls were sharing different things they struggled with and the judgment of others.  The girls all had different opinions and really started to get sassy with one another.  Ms. Em, being the wise woman that she is, found middle ground.  She pointed out that all these controversial struggles we debate over don’t matter, what matters is humanity.  At the end of the day, when all is said and done, we are all human beings.  Each one of us is someone’s child.  We discussed the importance of treating one another with respect and humility since we are all human. I think the girls learned a lot about how to be compassionate toward one another.  I left Wordsworth feeling completely challenged with a whole ton to debrief.  How many times do I make judgments instead of spending the time to get to know a person?  What stereotypes do I allow myself to believe?  How can I be more accepting of the people around me?  How can Christ’s unconditional love overcome my skewed perceptions?

             This past week I have been reminded of the simple rule Jesus so strongly emphasized: Love your neighbor as yourself Mark 21:31 

The Voice of Katrina

Remember Katrina, you know one of the girls I visited last week?  During our visit I gave her one of the flower pots we have been making in order to fundraise.  She loved it.  Today I received a Facebook message.  She sent me this picture:

And with this picture she typed, “This is a reminder that even beautiful flowers can come from broken homes”

Katrina never fails to amaze me time and time again.  As she keeps using that Voice of a Beautiful Flower she will continue to encourage and change lives!

Reunions Reunions Reunions

Yesterday my roommate from camp summer, Laura, and I embarked on an adventure to the Philadelphia area.  On our way to visit camp friends, we stopped by to see a girl, Katrina, who has left Wordsworth.  When we arrived she tackled me with a huge hug, it was so good to see her!  When we got to my car I apologized for the mess in the back seat, I had over 100 books donated for the girls; there was absolutely no room.  So we started to move them into the trunk as Katrina goes, “Laura, her car is cleaner than the last time I saw her!”  We all laughed a whole lot.

We eventually made room, and got in the car to drive to Katrina’s apartment.  She was having such difficultly giving me directions, she couldn’t remember which way was left and which way was right.  So instead, she said make a Becca (I was in the drivers seat) if we had to turn left and make a Laura, if we had to turn right.  At one point she said, make a left, but I went right…whoops.  And Katrina goes, “Becca, what am I going to do with you?  When I find out, Laura I’ll let you know”  We could not stop giggling as I proceeded to make a U turn. 

When we got to Katrina’s house I gave her a flower pot (the ones we have been making) and a book Girls Like Us to read.  She got so excited and we pinky promised that if she read my book I would read her favorite book.  She showed us around her apartment as we shared stories. 

To our surprise another girl who has left Wordsworth contacted Katrina, so we went and picked her up.  We took the girls out to dinner at McDonalds.  Before eating we all held hands and prayed for our food.  It was awesome.  Around the table we talked a lot about life and the things we are experiencing.  I asked the girls if they have been writing, and they said no.  I reminded them of the power of writing and how much it has helped them in the past.  By the end of the conversation, we all agreed they should start creating poetry again.

Katrina was encouraging her friend to keep praying and trusting in God through her struggles.  I smile and go, “hey Katrina, look at you trusting in God and what not” she responds, “What can I say, you are rubbing off on me” Laura’s face lit up as we both realized what power the love of Christ can do. I drove the girls home and we hugged and took pictures together.  We promised we would see again soon and that when we do I expect to hear some poetry.

It was so encouraging to see how well Katrina is doing and the incredible progress she has made.  She is working toward her dreams and setting goals to get there.  I am so proud of her endurance and joyful spirit.  I cannot wait to see her again!  Laura and I left Philly and journeyed onto our camp reunion.  We talked all about the girls and how much things have recently progressed.  It’s been a blessing to see my camp friends this weekend.  Considering we spend all summer serving our campers, we cannot resist serving others when we are all together.  Needless to say, tonight we are making paper flowers and starting Christmas presents for the girls.  How lucky am I to have friends who love the girls just as much as I do!?  Here are some pictures of our service filled Saturday night!

 

The amount you can accomplish when you have two Rebeccas!

And there goes Laura and Kyra making Christmas presents!

 

 

And this is a picture of Laura, we belive in you Laura, we do.

 

We even got Kate to craft!!!

A Philly Sunset

            This Tuesday at the girls home was awesome.  We only spent time with the older girls again because we were having too much fun all together.  At first we were just hanging out all together and catching up on the past two weeks, since we didn’t get a chance to see them.  One of the girls was straightening her hair, so yes for the first time in my entire life I straightened a weave!  And might I add, it came out beautifully.

            Half way through our catching up, this beautiful scene appeared in our window.  The sunset had us all mesmerized, but really, look at how incredible it is:

 

 

This is the room that we meet to do poetry every week.  It has glass windows along side of it so we have a view of Philadelphia!

            One of the girls came feeling pretty discouraged this week.  Ms. Em looked at her and said, “You know you are always smiling.  Every time I see you, you are smiling.  With all that you are going through, that shows strength.  So don’t ever stop smiling.”  Immediately the biggest smile came over her face.  She started talking about her family and went to get pictures of her family to show us.  We heard lots of stories.

            The conversation quickly moved to how the girls are frustrated that their parents aren’t active enough in their lives.  So we shared with them how they can learn from their parents.  I told them how my Dad lost his father when he was a teenager.  He always tells us that he wants to give us the things in life he never had. I told them how I think he is the best Daddy in the whole world.  The girls smiled and agreed, they can just provide for their future children the things they never had.  One girl said, “That is what I’m going to do for my son when I leave here.”  It was encouraging to see how our lives can help the girls see theirs in a more positive way.

            We then started to read poetry of girls from previous years.  The girls loved to learn about other stories.  They were inspired to keep writing in order to help girls in years from now.  The girls all went to their rooms to get the poetry they had been working on.  We read poems about heartbreaks, parents, family and my favorite about an ice cream man.  Before leaving a girl asked if we could pray again this week. So we stood in a circle, held hands and thanked God for all that He has given us. And for all you Pocono Plateauers out there, after we said Amen, we shook hands. Needless to say, it was quite a week!

Peace Like A River

            Two weekends ago we were apart of an event, UD day of service.  We had a table on campus and got to share with people all about the girls and what we do.  Our organization was coming to life as students who walked by helped us make paper flowers and stationary to sell.  Ms. Em even made a special appearance and talked to students.  We had a whole lot of fun. 

l

this is the infamous, prestigious, beautiful, one of my roommates, the one and only KIMBERLY.

 

and this is my other roommate Leigh, she really didn’t want me to take her picture.  Props to Leigh for handling my disorganized side of the room and being so supportive!!

 

 

We had a lot of people help, needless to say I spent my whole weekend with friends putting together these wonderful flowers to sell!

            While at college I attend a church called The Barn.  It is an incredible place to be involved in as they are passionate about serving others.  On Sunday we asked to sell things after church next week, and guess what, they said yes!  I looked over to my two friends Becca and Bekah in awe as to how God so willingly provides!

            The message was all about how gracious God is.  How we are a gift from God, how God gave us the gift of his son and how he is continuously giving us gifts.  Once the message ended they started worship playing worship songs as people were praying.  I sat down on my chair, put my head down and just started praying.  Thanking God for all the gifts he has so graciously provided the girls and all the opportunities he has perfectly orchestrated for our ministry.  I sat as a servant in the presence of an awesome God and just started to sob.  I prayed that God would take hold of our ministry and that His vision, not mine, would be accomplished.  I told Him how I was fearful that I would not be able to succeed in everything he has made available.  I prayed that he would give me the strength to trust in Him and to rid thoughts of failure.  Then I had two hands touch my back, one of them belonging to one of my best friends at college and the other woman at church, she asked to pray.  Now this woman knows nothing about me except for the fact that I asked her to pray for fear.  She prayed that I would not be fearful of asking for help, that I would be confident and trusting in what God has planned.  That I would give everything to Him and humbly allow Him to use me as a servant.  Talk about experiencing a God moment.  The peace of God completely over took my thoughts and heart.

            After lifting my head and disposing of the immense amounts of tears and boogers all over my face, my roommate and I walked over to my car.  We sat down and she said, “You aren’t doing everything alone, you know that right?  Give me some papers, teach me hold to glue the flowers and we will get everything ready to go.” Needless to say my friends spent the rest of Sunday teaching me how to be organized, considering I tend to be a mess a majority of the time.

            This week, God answered my prayers.  He comforted my heart and let me know he has got this whole thing under control.  Sometimes God gives us opportunities and we so easily try to control them.  We get anxious, nervous, stressed out and forget that if we give it all to God, He never fails.  Praise God for never giving up on us, friends, organizational bins, the power of prayer and peace.

The Simplicity of Happiness

Tuesdays can potentially be the most hectic day for Ms.Em, Katrina and I. Today we got together and were all exhausted, shamefully enough, I the most cranky. We got in the car talked about how much hurt people have caused us this week, our lack of sleep and the amount of work we had to do. So I did what I do best, I fell asleep.  An hour later I woke up and we were stuck in stand still traffic on 95. We arrived to Wordsworth 45 minutes late. What a bummer. 

We eventually got upstairs to see the girls. We went to the youngest floor first. The girls were getting ready to watch a movie. One girl gave us such an attitude saying she didn’t want to do poetry. Ms Em as patient as ever started joking around with the girls and before I knew it the most resistant girl was improving poetry and songs standing on the couch, the center of attention. She was singing at the top of her lungs and reciting hilarious poetry, “roses are red, violets are blue, i have boogers”  then all the girls started giggling, so much that she never finished her poem.  The simple spirit and smile Ms Em brings to the girls challenges them to look deeper.  Needless to say, we laughed a lot tonight 

We moved down to the second floor. Some of the girls ecstatic to see us. But since we arrived so late, we couldn’t do poetry because it was bed time.  So all we were able to do was hug the girls and say hello.  There was mutual disappointment on both ends.

So we get to the car and Ms Em goes, “so that’ll make for an interesting blog post, 3 and a half hours in the car for 30 minutes of the girls. dang we show commitment”  We all just laughed

She continued to tell Katrina and I that being a consistent smile in the girls lives is more than we realize we are doing. Just going and saying hi shows the girls we care and aren’t going anywhere.  It is important they have stability in their lives.  Our effort wasn’t useless, it made a difference. The girls were happy and that is all that truly matters. 

The three of us sat in the car a bit discouraged and turned music on. We listened to Footloose and while singing and dancing together.  Then classic Ms Em started talking about something deeper than Footloose. All about happiness. How it is so important in life to be happy. And so many times we look into the darkness and think it is so difficult. If we live out the faith we say we believe in it should be easy. It is all up to us.  We should look around us daily an see the beautiful things God has created.  Once we open our eyes, joy will overflow.

I sat in the back seat listening and thought how foolish of me to be cranky, stressed and discouraged by others. How selfish it was of me to not have the girls be my first priority tonight.  I remembered how important it is to trust God and look for him everywhere. And when I look I will see and find him.  It is a choice I have to make.  When we have faith in an awesome God, happiness is a lot simpler than we realize.

What It Means To Be Truly Blessed

Tonight we unfortunately could not visit the girls.  Although I have no stories from the home, I do have stories about the incredible opportunities God has been providing for the girls!

When arriving back to campus, Inter-Varsity Christian Fellowship asked to become involved with our ministry.  Their first project in helping us is UD’s day of service this Saturday.  Different student organizations will have tables set up around campus sharing the service work they are involved in, and IV’s table will be all about the girls home!  That means that people can learn all about the girls!  There will be an opportunity for people to help make crafts that we can sell to raise money.  So if you are a UD student, stop by our table on Saturday from 12-3, I am almost positive it will be on East Campus. 

 

Ms. Em, Katrina and I have also been editing the book a lot.  We are almost half way done, so we are making progress.  One of my wonderful roommates and another close friend on campus are collectively working to design the cover of the book.  Start getting excited because it looks incredible already!   

 

The last exciting news I have for the night is that Ms. Em, Katrina and I have been talking about starting the Non-Profit more and more.  We are thinking of calling it Voices Reign and having Voices of Beautiful Flowers fall under it.  Our ultimate goal is to open a home where the girls can come once they leave Wordsworth.  A place where we can help them apply to college and jobs, to have church, run bible studies and just be a resource for girls who experience similar tragedies.  We have a lot of paper work to fill out, but also a lot of money to raise.  So be looking out for ways you can help support us.

 

God has literally just been throwing blessings my way.  He continues to provide opportunities and pathways to help our ministry grow.  I have been humbled time and time again as I am continuously surprised and amazed by how much God has made available. 

 

When writing about how much is happening with Voices of Beautiful Flowers I am reminded as to how much I cannot do on my own.  It is incredible how many people care and want to be involved.  I am blessed with camp friends who crafted with me all summer, a grandma who will go to the ends of the earth to collect books for the girls, a roommate who can put any vision she has onto paper, a friend who can graphically design anything he puts his mind to, a Christian organization run by loyal friends who desire to see God move, a friend who is willing to spend her night shopping with me and help me make decisions on what paper to buy because Lord knows I am so indecisive, an apartment full of supportive roommates who never stop listening to me talk about the girls, a family who is just as enthusiastic as I am about the girls and a God who is so gracious and loving.  I am reminded of how important it is for the body of Christ to work together and support one another.

 

Philippians 2:2-4: Therefore if you have any encouragement from being united with Christ, if any comfort from his love, if any common sharing in the Spirit, if any tenderness and compassion, then make my joy complete by being like-minded, having the same love, being one in spirit and of one mind. Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves, not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interests of the others.

 

I am blessed to be surrounded by people in my life who truly live out the meaning of these verses.  When the body of Christ truly does work together in common Spirit, values others and looks out for the interest of others it can accomplish incredible things.  Lord knows it takes a collective group of people to make big dreams come true.